I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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