dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
