Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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