no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
