We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
worst night to have a conscience
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
