Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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