I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
