I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
