It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
