I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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