the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize