Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
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the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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