i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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