I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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