JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize