we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
