so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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