quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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