He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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