drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
