is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
