You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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