why didn't you poke me back
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
