South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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