sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
