Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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