The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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