I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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