I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
this boner is exhausting
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
