Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize