who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
