The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
