Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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