One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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