apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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