Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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