hell yes lets make some ravioli
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
