her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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