I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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