How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
