I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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