Christians are straight up FREAKS
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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