My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
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There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
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You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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