mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
