I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Randomize