You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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