Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
ok first of all what the fuck
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
