don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
