How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
