you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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