Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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