his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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