why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.