So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old