I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
