doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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