Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
